Written by Jennifer Cox LCPC
For most parents, discipline comes naturally, so you might spend a lot of time focusing on areas of weakness. At times, it is easier to focus on the bad behavior than the good. In fact, it’s important to do so, since it is one way we learn. But, focusing only on those areas may be doing more harm than good, it could be impacting your child’s self-esteem. We have to remember on the flip side of the weaknesses, are the strengths which we also want to identify and reinforce by considering what went well.
Positive parenting is a style of parenting that focuses on encouraging and reinforcing good behavior rather than punishing bad behavior. This style of parenting is based on the belief that by providing rewards and praise, children will learn to make positive choices and develop good self-discipline. Positive parenting focuses on nurturing a strong relationship between parents and their children, as well as teaching children life skills such as problem-solving, communication, and respect.
A good start with positive parenting is focusing overall on your child’s strengths which can help build their self esteem. Here are some day to day ways to do so:
- Find areas to praise, look at where your child excels within school, home, personality, sports, hobbies, etc.
- Find areas where they are successful and discuss what they love about it, get involved.
- Stop to consider your own expectations and what success means to you – Next start thinking outside those expectations, consider your child’s area of interests or hobbies, the areas they thrive in versus maybe your way of identifying success such as grades in school.
- Offer authentic praise – Not too much because then they will expect it and if not enough then they will stop trying – There is a fine line with praising. One way to look at it, when they really succeed in those areas of interest or goals offer positive reinforcement/praise.
- Consider a reward system, they help establish goals and demonstrates authentic praise for being successful at something you set out to accomplish.
Now with all this praising, don’t forget to discipline – Parenting does include both, noticing the good with the bad.
For more information in regards to ADHD or parenting, contact 815-363-0864 or jennifer@echcounseling.com
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6625866/
